Door-2-Math Blog

Have you ever heard about the “pencil treatment”? If not, you’re not alone. I didn’t know what pencil treatment was either until today during a lunch meeting with a couple of good friends, one of whom is an accomplished surgeon.

“The pencil treatment,” my surgeon friend said, ” is placing a pencil in between my fingers and squeezing it hard when mom noticed that I was drifting off in doing my reading assignment.”

“Ouch!” I said.

“Well, it was so painful that from an early age I learned to spend my time efficiently – get the job done well the first time .

“So you can play.” his wife finished for him. For most of us, we wouldn’t dare to think about such thing as the “pencil treatment”, let alone using or coming up with one. (who knows what Dr. Spock would say!) One can’t help but think of this surgeons courage and his mother who made a lifelong contribution to her son. She taught him the best way she knew how and was rewarded with seeing her son reach his full potential. I don’t believe in corporal punishment or that the end justifies the means, but you do have to wonder “have we gone too soft when it comes to tough love” as a whole generation?

Yet one can’t help

If you’re reading this article, chances are you’re actively growing and managing your own retirement savings and you probably think it’s absurd that other post baby boomers believe social security will take care of them when the time comes.

Yet believing that private tuition you pay will take care of your children’s college choices down the road is just equally absurd. Private schools are entities, and just like our government, they too have their own agenda which hopefully is somewhat centered on your child’s education and his/her future career choices. But let’s face it, when push comes to shove, the survival of the entity itself takes precedent.

Case and point: a parent whom I met at a networking meeting brought her 8th grader in for an interactive assessment. “My daughter has been complaining about not being able to follow her math lectures,” said the mother. “But her grades look fine – all A’s and B’s.” Upon closer examination, the text book they use is what we educators refer as “watered down” pre-algebra and the students get to correct their exams for credit after the teacher had gone over the material with them in class. You get the picture, the grades are grossly inflated. From the school’s point of view, it’s hard to ask parents to write the check, volunteer their time in fundraising and flunk their kids at the same time.

“I’m a stay at home mom by choice, but attending this school has totally made me a full time volunteer!”

“Full time volunteer,” I said,”at the expense of your daughter’s education? Her math is 1 1/2 grades below where she needs to be.”

“That explains why she did so poorly on her University High entrance exam…” The mother said sadly. “But her two older brothers had done just fine and did get into University High.”

The Chinese say that you never step in the same river twice. Times have changed. Priorities have changed. Teaching methods have changed. The grading system has changed. Competition levels have changed. What remains unchanged is this: we are responsible for our kids’ education. Not our government. Not the entity where we pay our kids’ tuition. Not the homeroom teachers we volunteer for.

“My son watches TV shows on his computer ’til 2 AM,” a mother I met on a tennis court complained during a break.

“What does he watch?” I asked.

“Those hospital shows, the CSIs, Glee Club, you name it, he watches it.”

“Well, my son used to do that also,” shared another mother.

“But you know what we did to change that?”

“Donate your TV or laptop?” the 3rd mother joked.

“Better. My husband and I sat down with our teenage son and had a heart to heart and then we invited ourselves to watch with him.”

“He was ok with that?”

“Well, no. But we make watching together the condition for his TV shows. He didn’t like it at first, but as the show got funnier, we found ourselves sharing laughs despite ourselves.”

“I’m going to have to give that a try!”

The woman’s solution is genius! She turned a helpless situation (watching TV alone yet living under the same roof) into a blessing (watching the shows together picked by her son alone.)

Alone yet together or together yet alone? You tell me.