Door-2-Math Blog

Smart kids get bored easily. Think about it – if you’re as academically gifted as, say, Federer in tennis, playing at your local tennis club just doesn’t cut it. Over the years, I’ve seen many students who are bright beyond the top-of-the-chart get so bored with their academic studies that they literally start to glide. Why should they bother to shore up the math foundation, sharpen test-taking skills or develop efficient study habits when they can ace all the exams that their peers spend hours preparing for?

So what should a parent do? First and foremost, trust your instinct. If you know you’ve got a hot-cookie on hand, treat it as so. Don’t rely on your nagging to propel the smart kid. It would only backfire and put your parent-child relationship in jeopardy. Instead, locate, place and insist that your prodigy is in an environment that entices him to excel.

For example, a student of mine who held the world’s #3 spot for solving the Rubik’s cube, his father took the time to travel with him to Japan so he could be among his Rubik’s Cube equals. Yes, a 13 hour flight. The result, my student came back with a new appreciation of that “There is always someone who is smarter and better than me in every respect.” He then transformed himself into a self-motivated student at his high school and went on to attend Stanford.

Moral of the story? Change the environment to bring out the best in your child’s gift.

So you’re a doctor, here’s how to save your child’s math in 15 minutes.

1. Explain your work. Explain why you have to rush off to the hospital in the middle of dinner.
2. Acknowledge, acknowledge, and acknowledge your spouse.
3. When and if you do have some time to spend, spend it on what your kids want, not what you think they want. Vacation in Hawaii or fixing the broken toy plane – pick the broken airplane! Attending a sold-out social event or hitting a ball in the park – choose to hit the ball!

“Parents should never tell their kids that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up,” my student announced as soon as she entered my office and sat down. Becca is a bright and energetic young lady who is much more mature and street smart than her 16 years of age would suggest.

“Never is a strong word. So you don’t believe in positive encouragement?”

“It’s not that,” Becca opened her backpack and started digging for her math folder and notebook. “I just think those parents are setting their kids up for disappointment down the road.”

“How is that?”

“Take me for example. I wanted to be ballerina since like forever. But let’s face it, I’m 2 sizes too big to have anyone lift me up in the air -”. She made a heavy face that even I couldn’t help but smile.

“See my parents were smart. They didn’t sugar coat it and send me to Jenny Craig to diet. They said, “Becca, if you love dance that much, find something that’s you.”

“Thus the hip hop. It was a great performance you put on last week and thanks for sharing with me.”

“So you found it on YouTube?”

“Yep,” I said. Not willing to drop the subject, I asked, “So how do kids like you want to be supported?”

“Oh, you’re doing great for me in math, Dr. Pan. You did get my text that I got 93% on my test, right?”

“Yes, I did get that. Thanks for the update. But I was interested in how kids like you want to be supported in general.”

“Well, be our mirror. Like you never sugar-coated how far behind I was in math when we started. I didn’t like to hear it but I trust you’d help me to rebuild my math and you did.”

“A mirror, huh?!”

“Yeah. A mirror that just reflects who we are.”

I didn’t tell Becca that Kang Xi, one of the most accomplished Chinese emperors, had said the exact words about his cabinet officials.