From Tooth Brushing to Math Homework
Our 7-year-old son hates brushing his teeth – mind you this is AFTER we’d paid $2200 to fix his numerous cavities. We’ve tried bribing, coaxing, lecturing – short of taking the brush and scrubbing his teeth for him, nothing has worked. Last night, in a fit of frustration, I told my husband to ‘just let ‘em rot.’
If you have been there with your child’s math homework, you know what I’m talking about. There is a point you just have to let go. Right?
Well, my husband (out of his own desperation I’m sure) tried something different that produced an amazing result. Taking our son into his lap, my husband sat down on the bathroom floor with our son and chatted about how hard it must’ve been for a little boy to brush, floss, mouthwash and then turn off the light day after day, night after night. They talked about how monumental such task is. “Mom-u-ment is a big word, Papa,” our son remindeded the over-educated father. “You’re right,” father reaffirmed the son.
It’s truly a beautiful thing when the two most important men in your life get along. I’m blessed. As I watched, it dawned on me that our son was not trying to defy me, push my buttons when I’ve got no energy left, nor was he being ‘lazy’. He is just a little boy who needs a grown up to hold his hands through what to what FEELS like a momumental task! He doesn’t have the words, let along the right words, to make a request for help. Come to think of it, when you and I can not reach a cereal box in the grocery store up on the top shelf, the clerks don’t label us as ‘button pusher’ or ‘lazy’, do they? They don’t look at us with blood-shot eyes and utter ‘let ‘em be hungry’ — largely because you and I are trained to ask for help the proper way: “Would you mind,” we’d say, “reaching that cereal box for me? Thank you and I really appreciate it.”
So what can you do when your child is ‘button pushing’ you on his math homework? See it from his point view – he is tired, he is confused, he is frustrated, he is fearful, he is overwhelmed. Who among us wouldn’t want to put off anything that makes us feel small and nauseating?